


Eternity

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Feels, Future Fic, Immortality, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Loki Needs a Hug, Love, M/M, Married Couple, Misunderstandings, Poor Loki, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Secrets, Thor Is a Good Bro, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 22:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6444688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's been staying away for days at a time, sometimes longer. He won't tell Loki where he's been or what he's been doing, but Loki already knows the reason. Eternity is a long time to commit to one person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure about posting this tonight since I posted updates to my chapter stories so recently, but my friend convinced me to 'throw it at my readers tonight'. Who was I to resist? XP She also helped me with the summary because she is a precious, precious being ♥
> 
>  **Edit:** A loose prequel to this can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11231811). It wasn't intended to be one, but a lot of people suggested it could. So feel free to check it out :)

Loki was sitting in Frigga’s gardens on Asgard. There was a small bench he’d practiced his magic on in his youth and he was perched on it now. He was staring sightlessly at the flowers before him, his elbows on his legs and his fingers linked in front of his mouth. It was in this drawn and pensive position that Thor found him. He made enough noise that he wouldn't startle the other before taking a seat beside him on the bench.

The Mage didn’t react and they spent some minutes in silence before Thor finally broke the quiet, “Loki, you have spent many days in Asgard. What troubles you?”

Loki slanted his eyes to Thor, but otherwise didn’t move except to drop his fingers from his mouth to his chin. “What makes you think I am troubled, Thor?”

The Aesir smiled a little. “You despise returning to Asgard and avoid it whenever possible.” It drew a slightly wry expression from Loki before Thor’s next words wiped it clear. “What is wrong?”

Loki stared ahead of them and was silent for a long moment before admitting on a sad sigh. “Anthony is going to cease his relations with me.”

Thor snapped his head to the side, wide-eyed and incredulous. “No! I do not believe it!”

The Trickster’s smile was thin and pained. “It is true and it is coming.” He sat up straighter and gestured at the walls of the garden. “I left to avoid it a little longer. His need to tell me is doubtlessly the only reason he knows I’m gone, and he will soon try and find me.”

Thor was shaking his head. “He received the Apple, I do not think he would-”

“That was a century ago, Thor. You of all people know how difficult I am to know,” he closed his eyes, “let alone for Anthony to love.”

“No,” Thor denied again, “I cannot think that Anthony would-”

“Lose his feelings for me?” Loki suggested desolately. “I knew the possibility long before he had taken the Apple, Thor. I prepared for it. I,” Loki paused and gritted his teeth, “I just did not anticipate how difficult it would be to _lose **him**_.”

“I cannot believe it!” Thor repeated again, and making agitation clench Loki’s fists. “He loves you, brother!”

“Does he?” Loki’s voice was harsh and for a moment there was a whiff of rage, before it was snubbed out and Loki ran a hand over his face. “Perhaps he did, Thor - or perhaps he merely liked the taste of Immortality on his lips.”

“Loki!” Thor snapped, glaring at his brother. “Can you think Anthony to be so cruel as to lie to you in such a way?”

Loki grimaced and couldn’t meet the other’s eyes as he admitted, “No, I can’t.” His shoulders slumped. “But I _can_ imagine his heart swaying from mine over the decades.”

“Have your feelings changed for him?”

“No,” Loki whispered and it ached to admit.

Thor must have noticed it as his next words and tone had softened, “Then why should he change in his?”

Loki chuckled, but it was devoid of humour. “We are both of a species that _does not age_ , Thor - not the way Anthony’s does. We live long lives and we are made to stand the test of decades in heart and mind.” Loki swallowed. “He is no longer a mortal, but his _heart_ remains that of a species forever evolving.”

“And you believe he has grown from you?”

“I knew it was always far more likely than I wished it to be.”

Thor’s mouth was a thin line of frustration and helplessness. “Have you discussed this with Anthony?”

Loki snorted. “And grant him his opening to cease our relations? No, Thor, I will deny this for as long as he allows me to.”

Thor hesitated before questioning quietly, “And what if you are wrong?”

“I am rarely wrong,” Loki responded hollowly, looking drawn and resigned to the future he anticipated; one without Anthony at his side.

Thor wanted to contradict him, wanted to point out the many times he’d made a rash or hasty decision when thinking he was not cared for by those he loved. Thor didn’t, if only because he knew it would be ignored. “If you _are_ wrong,” he said instead. “The risk you run of pushing him from you is far greater. Anthony has never liked lies or secrets. He will want your honesty.”

“Then,” Loki answered, a dark and miserable smirk pulling at his mouth, “he should not have married a God of Falsehoods.”

“But marry you he _did_ ,” Thor told him firmly, reaching out and clasping Loki’s shoulder. “He chose you brother; he would not have done that lightly.”

“A century ago, Thor, yes, he did - but it has been _decades_ , it has been twice his mortal life! How can I-” Loki choked on the words and dug his nails into the leather of his pants. “How can I expect I’ll maintain him, Thor? He is already lying to me!”

“What?” Thor leaned in close. “What lie? What fabrication has he spoken to you, brother?”

“Where he goes,” Loki informed him quietly. “He used to be incessant.” Loki’s mouth twitched, recalling with fondness for a moment, before the distress at its noticeable lack swept back. “I had thought he might never shut up.” He grit his teeth. “Now he hardly speaks at all.”

“He might be procuring you something,” Thor suggested hopefully, but Loki shook his head. “You do not know what it is yet, Loki.”

Loki didn’t look convinced. “When I enquire he finds a means of distracting me or gives me half truths until I’m forced to still my tongue.” Loki slowly met Thor’s eyes, a sea of sadness and vulnerability. “I don’t want to make him tell me something I fear to hear.”

“You do not know what he will say,” Thor insisted. “Confront him! Make him tell you what these ventures are.” He lightly shook the shoulder he was still grasping. “Do as you did when you began your courting. Hardly a week would pass in Anthony’s Tower without arguments and fury between you.”

“I could _afford_ to argue then,” Loki answered with a scowl. “He was just a mortal, an attractive man I was bedding - this is _different_ , Thor.”

“Yes,” Thor agreed, “he is your husband of many decades. It is important you find out what is wrong and how you may mend it.”

Loki shrugged off Thor’s hand. “It will not work that way, Thor.”

“Why not?” Thor demanded.

“It won’t.”

“ _Why?_ ” Thor persisted until the thin veneer of control over Loki snapped.

“ _Because I have nothing without him_ ,” Loki growled, startling Thor who was suddenly faced with the emotional maelstrom that was his brother’s eyes. “He is my life, Thor. He is the only one in this universe who can understand me, who can _anchor_ me. I will never gain my heart back from his hands and yet I know I will _never stop him from leaving_.” Loki ran a hand through his hair and tugged it. Thor had never seen him so painfully exposed, even in his youth or on the day of his wedding. “Do you see how pathetic I am now, Thor? I would do anything for Anthony, Thor, even if it’s letting him find another to adore.”

“Loki,” Thor murmured, “Loki, you-”

“There is nothing you can say, Thor,” Loki muttered, finally turning those agonised eyes away. “I simply came here to avoid my fate. I did not expect you to find and _listen_ to it.”

“I am your brother,” Thor told him roughly, feeling useless in the face of his brother’s predicament. His hand still came to rest heavily on Loki’s back, offering his support. “I will listen whenever you have need of me.”

Loki didn’t even make a remark about all the times Thor had ignored him in the past. He simply gave a soft nod and kept his eyes on the ground. Thor wanted to help him, to pull his brother into a hug or find Anthony and shake some sense into him. Shake the _truth_ out of him and hope it was not what his brother feared.

Thor was trying to find words to help him, but they were never his strong suit and before he could attempt them, Loki stiffened and raised his head. His skin had paled and his eyes were wide with a despairing resignation. “He’s found me.”

Jerking his head in all directions, Thor asked, “Anthony? He’s here? Where?”

“Making his way to us, he has likely requested direction in finding you. People notice where you go.”

Thor stood quickly. “I shall redirect him. You do not need to see him, brother.”

He started to move towards the garden’s entrance, but Loki’s soft voice stopped him. “Don’t, Thor.” He looked over his shoulder at the other and found Loki a shadow of the confident Trickster. “I have dodged him far too much.” His smile was broken and it hurt to witness. “Who am I to deny him his happiness?”

“You have a right to happiness too,” Thor persisted, wishing desperately he could help rekindle the joy that had been a constant in his brother’s eyes for over a hundred years.

“And his is not with me. How can I be pleased when he isn’t? No, Thor,” Loki shook his head and pushed himself to his feet. “If nothing else, you were right about one thing; I need to speak with him about this, no matter what his words might be.”

He knew the change of angle to his brother’s chin. It meant nothing would sway Loki from his decision, all Thor could do was assure Loki of his presence. “I will be here, should you have need of me, brother.” 

Thor had no plans for the evening, but even had his coronation been planned, he would have ignored and rescheduled it so he could be with Loki. Should his brother be in need of his company and comfort after facing Anthony, he would be there. Thor wished to say more, but he could hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Thor turned on his heel and hurried to meet the other so as to give Loki more time to prepare. He almost ran into the shorter man who reeled back. “Thor-”

“Brother Anthony.” How Thor hoped he would remain brother and not become _former_ brother should he truly wish to separate from Loki.

“Yeah, brother, whatever - that’s still weird and it’s been a century. Have you seen Loki?”

Thor took in a careful breath before stepping to the side and revealing the path to the once mortal. “Loki is here. He is waiting for you.”

Anthony’s eyebrows went up but he nodded and patted Thor’s arm. “That’s great, thanks.”

He went to move past but Thor gripped his arm, holding him in place. Thor scrutinised Anthony’s confused expression. “Do you remember the words we spoke of on your union?”

Anthony looked even more incredulous. “The part where you would rip my head off and use my body as bongo drum if I ever hurt your brother?”

Thor’s grin was wide and menacing as he squeezed Anthony’s arm tightly before letting go. “Precisely.” 

When he was released, Anthony rubbed his arm while edging away from Thor slightly. He was looking at him as if Thor had lost his senses. “Ooookay.”

Thor knew there was nothing more he could say or do, so he turned from the couple and left the gardens. His heart felt burdened with worry for their union as well as the state of his brother’s mind should Anthony have truly found another he preferred to spend his life with.

Anthony and Loki had seemed like such unlikely lovers at first, but soon all who saw them could not deny their affection and dedication. Thor had thought his brother had finally found his other half, had finally been gifted happiness instead of sorrow.

Surely the Norns could not be so cruel as to take from Loki once again? Surely this could all just be some large mistake? It was all Thor had left to pray for.

* * *

Loki had stayed back, moving only so that he could watch them speak from where he was standing in the middle of the courtyard. He couldn’t hear their words, but their body language spoke volumes; Thor’s in threat and Anthony’s in uncertainty. His brother was a fool but a well-meaning one as no threat from Asgard would ever worry Anthony, not as long as Loki would stop it from ever befalling him.

Anthony would forever be safe from any repercussions of their separation, because Loki would forever be in love with the Midgardian.

The Midgardian who was watching Thor’s retreating figure all while _Loki_ watched _him_.

Anthony was in his casual armour which had been modelled off of Loki’s. It was in red and gold and displayed Anthony’s own battle colours while their union was carved into his gauntlets and any spare pieces of gold. It had been months since Loki had seen his husband in it and it both warmed and pained his heart. Recently, Anthony had taken to wearing the discreet armour they’d had made in Alfhiem. It was in grey’s and blues and had been purchased half a century ago when they had spent some time hunting bandits together. They had needed something that would allow them to blend into the crowd and go by unnoticed. 

It had been fine at the time and when used for a joint purpose, but its reappearance had been distressing. Loki had desperately missed seeing Anthony display his allegiance and love for all to see. It took everything in Loki’s power not to rush over and pull his husband into his arms, to press him against a wall and mark him even more thoroughly than the carvings on his clothes. But he made himself remain where he was. He couldn’t become distracted by Anthony’s willing body, not when he didn’t know if his _heart_ was willing any longer.

“I didn’t realise you were coming to Asgard,” Anthony told him while making his way over. 

A small smile was curving his mouth and his eyes were all for Loki, and oh, how it _hurt_. How it ached to be so close to the man he wanted and know that it was all one fabrication, a part of some grand scheme that hid what he was doing, where he was going, and _why_ he was lying.

Anthony’s face had shifted to a frown when he stopped in front of the Mage. He reached up and lightly touched Loki’s cheek. “Lokes?” Loki closed his eyes before reaching up and taking Anthony’s wrist. He just kept a light hold on it so as to keep the other touching him. “Loki? What’s the matter?”

He didn’t even have to open his eyes to cup Anthony’s cheek and draw him into a kiss. He could find his lover in the dark and never place his lips wrong, and Anthony opened for him, kissing him back and making Loki’s heart both soar and fall.

They kissed long and slow and when they finally parted for breath, they leant against one another. Loki’s hand had shifted from Anthony’s wrist and was now holding his palm which had fallen to rest against his chest.

“Loki?” Anthony softly enquired, “What’s going on?”

It was possibly the hardest thing Loki would ever force himself to do, but despite the agonising weight of them on his tongue and the tearing at his insides, he made himself say each word. They were barely louder than a whisper and were rough as sandpaper, but he managed them, “If you wish to untie from me, I will never stop you, Anthony.”

There was a long silence and Loki felt sick. He could feel the sword against his heart and the weight of loss pulling him down as he waited for his husband - former? - to answer him.

“Uh. Huh?” It was fairly anti-climatic and was so unexpected that his eyes flew open. Anthony’s brow was a collection of confused wrinkles. “Untie what?” He looked at their hands as well as their armour. “Are we tangled? _How_ are we tangled?”

“We...” Loki trailed off. “You married me.”

Anthony’s face scrunched into an even deeper frown. “You’re talking about the wedding too? First Thor and now you? What the hell was in Asgard’s breakfast today? I don’t understand what that has to do with any-” His face suddenly slackened. “Wait. It’s not some fruitcake Aesir ritual is it? Fuck. Did I forget something? I know it’s not our anniversary, I _know that one_.”

He looked unbearably adorable and terrified and Loki wanted to cup his face, sooth and kiss him - but he _refused_ to be distracted again. He refused to let Anthony sway him with kind words and sweet smiles. He would only hate himself in the morning when Anthony had slunk out of their bed and disappeared again for days on end.

Loki disconnected them from everything but the hand he still wanted to hold. He needed the support and comfort - even if he was forcibly placing himself in a position to lose it. “No, Anthony, it is...” he forced a breath into his lungs. _Norns, help me let him go._ “I am telling you, I will let you leave me,” he swallowed, “permanently.”

Anthony didn’t seem to comprehend at first, but when he did, he pulled his hand out of Loki’s grip and actually took a step backwards. “Wait, you’re.” Anthony looked as though he’d been struck. “Are you trying to divorce me?”

“No!” Loki replied, [reaching out and snagging Anthony’s hand again](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11209605/chapters/25039305), relieved beyond words when he didn’t recoil. “No, I don’t ever want to be without you.”

Anthony’s eyes were darting over his face. “I don’t understand. Why would you offer-” he stopped abruptly. “Me.” His face morphed into one of horror. “You thought _I_ wanted to leave you?”

“I’ve begged the Norns for it not to be true,” Loki rushed out, cupping Anthony’s neck and begging _himself_. “Please tell me I am wrong, Anthony. I will let you - I swear I will find a way to part from you if you wish it, but I promise I will change it, myself, _anything_. I will do anything to make you stay with me, my love.” Anthony opened and closed his mouth, but no sound emerged. “ _Please_ ,” and Anthony’s eyes widened at the repeat of the word. “Tell me what I need to do to keep you as mine, Anthony. “ He brought up Anthony’s hand so that he could press his lips to it before letting out his final whisper, his final attempt against those knuckles, “ _Please_.”

“ _Loki_ ,” Anthony murmured before cupping the Mage’s cheek with his free hand and drawing his husband down into another kiss. It was soft and trembling and it was only when Anthony tasted salt that he pulled back. He rubbed a soothing thumb under Loki’s eye. “Loki, it’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.”

Loki gave a sharp shake of his head. “You are,” he croaked out, “you _always_ are. You take days to return home and never allow me to know where you’ve been.” Something guilty and uncomfortable crossed Anthony’s face and it made Loki’s sadness deepen. He brought his fingers up and touched the corner of Anthony’s mouth. “And that is the face you wear each time I dare bring it up.”

“It’s not,” Anthony shook his head. “It’s not anything like that, Loki. I _love you_. I’m _in love_ with you and I’m not leaving you.” 

He pressed another kiss to Loki’s lips and although he’d meant to make it chaste, Loki pulled him in desperately. Anthony didn’t try to fight it; he just wrapped his arms around his husband and poured all his desire and love into each touch. Loki soaked it up, his eyes squeezed shut and his heart finally starting to loosen from the vice it had been trapped in for months.

His chest still felt tight and he could barely believe his world wasn’t crashing down around him as Anthony walked away. It didn’t seem real when he’d planned so exclusively for heartbreak. He just kept kissing Anthony, moving from his mouth to his cheek and up to his temple where he rested his mouth and breathed the other in. Anthony sighed and leant into the touch.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Anthony broke it, telling him, “I’m sorry.”

Loki hesitated before asking softly, “What were you doing?”

Anthony bit his lip. “Promise you won’t yell?”

Pulling back, Loki felt suspicion flood through him as he asked, slightly sharper, “ _What_ were you doing?”

Anthony idly scratched his neck and wouldn’t meet Loki’s eyes. “You, um, remember when I asked about that magical bonding other people were doing on their hundredth year?”

“Well, yes,” Loki answered, ignoring the constant flicker of frustration and hurt the subject always gave him. “I don’t know the spells of the Jotnar, especially for inter-species relations. I told you that.”

“Erm,” Anthony gave his most winning smile. “Surprise? I was trying to find them for you?”

Loki could only stare at Anthony; his husband’s preparatory wince only seeming to get deeper.

“You were searching for Jotun binding spells.” Anthony smiled tentatively. “When I _forbade_ you from searching for something that didn’t exist?”

“You know I don’t do well with-”

“So you _kept_ it from me and could have gotten _killed_ all for the sake of-”

“Tying us together for eternity like I _know_ you wish we could,” Anthony finished quietly, washing the anger off Loki’s face in an instant. “I know how much it upsets you that we can’t do this.” He brought his hands up to Loki’s neck, stroking gently. “I’ve promised you forever in every way I can, but you’re a Mage. I know you want this more than anything else we could do. I know it’s scratching at your skin that I’m not _yours_ this way.” He gazed at Loki with firm resolve. “So I’m going to fucking _fix_ it.”

“But-”

“Nope,” Anthony cut him off. “I refuse to hear that word. There is no ‘but’ there is no ‘doesn’t exist’ there is only ‘ _we haven’t found it yet_ ’.”

“Why didn’t you _tell me?_ ” Loki demanded.

Anthony shrugged a little sheepishly, but his eyes were careful and hesitant. “Because when I started I didn’t know if you were right or not. I didn’t want to get your hopes up if there wasn’t anything to find. I just... I hate seeing that look enter your eyes.” Loki frowned slightly so Anthony elaborated, “You look like you’re missing something.”

“I have you,” Loki disagreed, “I’m not missing anything.”

Anthony just shook his head. “Yeah, you are. We’re tied together, no doubt about it, but I’m not _physically_ tied to you. We’re unchained and every other Mage gets it. I’m not magical, so I don’t understand it the same way all of you do. I don’t _feel_ it, but I can _see it in you_ and it _hurts_.” He placed a hand over Loki’s heart. “It fucking killed me that I couldn’t do this for you.” He tilted his chin up and his eyes burned with resolve. “So I’ve made it my mission to find out how.”

Loki let out a huff of laughter, feeling such _love_ for this man as he captured his chin and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “And what did you find, my love?”

Anthony lips broke into a wide smile. “Well, nothing yet. Nothing like a binding spell, but I found this book yesterday and it’s got a bunch of Jotun facts and it looks pretty legit. I wasn’t going to tell you until I had a chance to track down the author.”

“Do you have any locations to start?” Loki questioned.

Anthony scrunched up his face. “Not really. Oh, but hey!” His eyes were bright and his smile was hopeful. “I was thinking about asking a Mage to, you know, help me track them down. I hear there’s some great spells for that.”

“Were you now,” Loki replied, unable to contain his smile and burgeoning excitement.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Anthony nodded while dropping his hands to wrap around Loki’s waist as he drew his husband closer. “You’re a Mage, right?” He smirked. “Got anyone who could help me out?” Loki glowered at him, but still wrapped his arms around the other; he just used the new position to deliver a sharp pinch to his lover’s behind. “Hey!” Anthony grumbled after jerking from the touch. “See if I listen to _your_ opinion after that.”

“You foolish man,” Loki muttered before he came forward, pressing his forehead to Anthony’s temple and saying quieter, “You should have told me.”

Anthony curled in closer. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Loki. I really didn’t.”

Loki swallowed. “I know. You meant to help me.”

“Help _us_ ,” Anthony corrected. “I want this too. I want to be _yours_. I want the world to be able to sense your magic on me, I want the world to know you’re _mine_ and that nothing can pull us apart.”

The very image, the very _idea_ of Anthony as not only his husband and lover but his _life bonded_ – it filled Loki with such wistful longing he had to close his eyes and tighten his hold.

“What if there is nothing?” He couldn’t stop from suggesting, “What if it doesn’t work?”

“I’ve got a _very long_ eternity to keep looking.” Anthony tilted up his head. “And if we can’t find the original, we’ll just make our own. You’re the most creative Mage in the universe. If we can’t do it the old way, we’ll make our own bond. We’ll do _anything we need to_ if it gets us this.”

When Anthony smiled, it was that same chaotic, passionate and intelligent expression that had made Loki helpless and lost so many decades ago. It was the man he _loved_ and who loved him too. It was everything he’d been petrified was falling apart - but it was only growing stronger, only growing _deeper_.

“So,” Anthony said, “you asked me to marry you a hundred and six years ago and I said yes.” His eyes were dancing with pleasure and love. “If I asked you to bond with me for the rest of eternity, what would you say?”

Loki laughed, he smiled, and another sentimental tear slipped out to be kissed away by his lover.

“I say yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. I am a giant, big softie. Are you surprised by this? Also. I didn't tag it with "happy ending" because I just wanted to make you all suffer with that lack of knowledge XP
> 
>  **HEY! This story now has fanart!** It's done by the wonderful NovaRain and can be found in the story at the appropriate interval and [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11209605/chapters/25039305). Go check it out and tell them how amazing and talented they are :* ♥
> 
>  **EDIT!** The fanart for this story? Has now been _coloured_ by the awesome Ender_Rock and is found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11588919). So please go give these artists lots of love and attention for their gorgeous hardwork!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [STARSdidathing's Eternity Fanart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209605) by [NovaRain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaRain/pseuds/NovaRain)
  * [Eternity colored fanart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11588919) by [Ender_Rock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ender_Rock/pseuds/Ender_Rock), [NovaRain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaRain/pseuds/NovaRain)
  * [Eternity colored fanart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11588919) by [Ender_Rock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ender_Rock/pseuds/Ender_Rock), [NovaRain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaRain/pseuds/NovaRain)
  * [Say You Still Love Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578354) by [onyxfyrefly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onyxfyrefly/pseuds/onyxfyrefly)




End file.
